tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
