I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
