I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
