physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
