What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
