Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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