well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
