Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
