I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
