So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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