If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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