all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
