i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
