in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
