it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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