we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
