no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
