Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
