people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
