People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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