I bet he comes in French.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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