oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
