I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
