my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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