i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
