honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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