i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
