the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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