Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
