So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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