Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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