please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
