I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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