elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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