I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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