I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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