yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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