New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
