The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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