i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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