Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
