Im at strip club and am horny
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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