i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
