Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
