Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
