You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
