wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you win again, gameday.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
