I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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