HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
