My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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