He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
