there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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