we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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