saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
