she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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