i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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