I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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