barbara walters just said penis...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize