There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
