i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
