three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Everything about him screamed your future.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
