talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
