i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize