I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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