Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
