Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Boobs are out for the taking
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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