my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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