Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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