I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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